The Hate Game
by Gary Trew
Genre: Memoir
ISBN: 9781738245413
Print Length: 288 pages
Reviewed by Elizabeth Zender
A moving memoir about a young man learning what it means to be himself
In 1972, eleven-year-old Gary Trew began school at The Knoll School for Boys, nicknamed “Knollditz”by its pupils. The nickname is a play on the Nazi’s POW camp “Colditz Castle,” reflecting the students’ desire to escape from a cruel place.
Trew shares his experiences at this school in a startlingly frank memoir, telling the stories that helped him grow into the man he is today: one with the aim to make a difference.
The memoir begins with “D-Day” at Knoll: a tradition where upperclassmen dunk the newest boys’ heads into toilets, flush it, and steal their caps. From there, the torment only worsens.
On the playground, the older boys round up the youngest and play Holocaust games, where the older boys pretend to be Nazis and physically harass and assault the younger boys. These memories are more than fleeting for the now-grown Trew; the trauma from his time at Knoll brought about Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (C-PTSD). He can still remember how it felt to be hit by these boys.
If you are like me and Trew, you might be wondering where the teachers are. Why are the adults not stepping in to stop these insensitive and horrific events? Trew tells his readers that in his five years at Knoll, he never once saw a staff member step in and stop torment. In fact, some were responsible themselves for bullying the students. Teachers, like Mr. Marine, spent their time mocking and yelling at the children under their care.
And at home, things were becoming more uncertain: Trew’s father underwent surgery for colon cancer; his mother divulged aspects of her traumatic past; and his older sister would snap at him when he asked stupid questions. The Hate Game is an emotional memoir of difficulties and pain in youth. In unflinching prose, Trew paints a picture of a young man in mourning, trying to reconcile with his emotions the way he has been told to behave.
In spite of all of the horrors he experiences, Trew still sees the bright spots in his life. The way his mother showed her unwavering love of her family. The geography teacher, Mr. Dylan, making his lessons worthwhile. Learning about the power and strength to defend a friend in need. As the years press on, Trew discovers a path to life that only he can carve. The book is an inspirational journey in a harrowing package.
It contends with the expectation that boys and men should keep a stiff upper lip, that they do not cry. Trew shows strength in emoting and understanding. His growth in the face of adversity demonstrates the importance of sensitivity and healing. The Hate Game is a poignant and timely true story—a recommended read for anyone in need of courage.
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