Natasha Rothwell’s ‘How To Die Alone’ Is So Refreshing

Natasha Rothwell has been crying for the last two weeks.

And since “How to Die Alone” ― premiering Friday on Hulu ― is the actor-writer’s “most vulnerable work” to date, she can’t blame it on cutting onions.

At an intimate screening in New York City on Monday, Rothwell told the audience that she wants them to understand the difference between loneliness and being alone. It’s a lesson she credits to a lot of self-work and experience, including about two decades of therapy. With “How to Die Alone,” Rothwell wants to remind others that they are enough and worthy of living the life they want.

The series’ eight half-hour episodes, produced by ABC Signature and Rothwell’s Big Hattie Production company, incorporate comedy, surrealism and some heavy moments that hit close to home. Rothwell serves as the creator, co-showrunner and executive producer. She also plays the lead character, Mel, whom the logline describes as “a broke, fat, Black JFK airport employee who’s never been in love and forgotten how to dream.”

We meet Mel when she’s down bad. She’s an airport employee who’s afraid to fly and has lingering feelings toward her soon-to-be-married ex. And things get worse before they can get better. But Mel’s realization that she’s the person holding herself back from reaching her dreams — or even from dreaming in the first place — hits hard after she faces a life-threatening accident. The series can best be described by a Toni Morrison quote: “Wanna fly, you got to give up the shit that weighs you down.”

That’s not easy. Neither is talking about it.

“It’s been a seven-year process,” Rothwell said earlier this year at Essence Festival in New Orleans. Wearing an oversize orange blazer with matching shorts, she’s deliberate about her words, something that comes from practicing the hard work of radical truth-telling.

“The most revelatory thing that hit me like a ton of bricks was, I have to cash the check that I’ve been writing with my mouth in terms of walking the walk and being vulnerable, open and authentic,” she said. “Not that I haven’t been in the past, but never to this degree.”

She’s honest about the number of times she almost quit on this project.

“I’ve had so many opportunities to put it down and walk away, but something in me knew this was a story that needed to be told, and I really wanted to be fiercely protective of the project and not be compromising,” she said. “The show is about vulnerability, but there’s nothing more vulnerable than being the star of something, being the writer of something, being the EP of something, a showrunner of something, and putting it into the world, because people have a lot of opinions, especially our people.”

“I back myself with my work, but it’s a brave thing to do,” she continued. “And so I’m proud to walk the walk in terms of being vulnerable.”

Balancing multiple roles for her debut project wasn’t easy. But the former high school drama teacher knew the stakes were high for her to get it made.

“I’d be on set and people would be like, ‘I don’t understand, you’ve got so much energy.’ Or I’d be in the writer’s room ― ‘You’ve got so much energy.’ And I can’t really explain it,” she said. “It’s when you’re walking in your purpose and your calling that you have this reservoir of energy that’s unlocked, because I was so excited by the work that I was doing. I was so grateful to tell the story. And I also was supported, and that’s the big thing.”

“How to Die Alone” features Conrad Ricamora, Jocko Sims and KeiLyn Durrel Jones as part of the recurring cast. Bashir Salahuddin, Elle Lorraine and Michelle McLeod, among others, also make appearances. The series was filmed in Toronto, maneuvering around the post-pandemic red tape in the U.S. The show was Rockwell’s dream, but she says she was thoroughly supported in executing her vision.

Death — and what it means to live — has been a theme in a few of Rothwell’s recent projects. In the final season of “Insecure,” which she wrote and co-starred in, her character, Kelli, attends her college reunion only to find out the planning committee has pronounced her dead during an “In Memoriam” tribute. And while little has been revealed about the third season of “The White Lotus,” Rothwell be returning to the series as Belinda, and the season will deal with death as a main theme.

For Rothwell, addressing death head-on in her work is intentional.

“Death is a reminder to live and live fully. Nothing is promised. Everything you love will die and go away, so we have to be present and in the moment,” she said. “How to Die Alone” is a comedy, Rothwell noted, but its message about what happens when you “wake up from being comatose in your own life and start living, and the mistakes you make along the way,” is relatable and very real.

“It’s not perfection. It’s process,” she said. “So this character is going to make mistakes and it’s not going to be this nice little bow, beautiful ‘before and after’ picture. It’s a ‘during’ picture. And to me, that was important ― to show us on the journey to being present and being authentic and being vulnerable.”

With post-pandemic loneliness lingering among many of us, there’s power in Rothwell making her lead character a plus-sized, working-class Black woman. It’s both her story and the story of so many. The specificity of Mel’s identity and journey is sure to resonate beyond those who look like her, but it will undoubtedly be empowering for people who don’t often see themselves as the protagonist on screen. Mel isn’t a poorly fleshed-out side character, the butt of the joke or a dreadfully depressed protagonist whose misfortunes win a sympathy watch from white audiences. She has her own nuanced story full of ups and downs. She’s human.

And after more than a decade of writing professionally, “How to Die Alone” feels like success for Rothwell before it even premieres.

“There were so many opportunities and junctures along the way where I could have pulled punches and done the thing that would’ve been easier for Natasha, but done the disservice for the spirit of Natasha,” she said. “I wanted to make sure I showed up for her and made sure that I did right by that and lay it all out on the table, and to me, that’s the beauty of this project.”

“I already feel like it’s a victory,” she added. “I’m excited for the world to see it, and I think that it’ll resonate with folks and help them feel less alone.”

The first four episodes of “How to Die Alone” premiere on Hulu on Friday.