Another Emmys weekend went by, and sadly still no Emmy Awards for the Below Deck franchise. (In case you missed it, Below Deck Down Under was nominated for Outstanding Unstructured Reality Program and Outstanding Picture Editing for an Unstructured Reality Program.) The franchise is a winner in our hearts, and in the spirit of spicing things up (other than Jono’s food) for this season’s penultimate-episode recap, I’ll be handing out some made-up awards as we go along.
Tonight’s episode picks back up with Aesha comforting a crying Gael, who’s upset that Joe and Nathan drunkenly made plans for after the season because she and Nathan had already planned to travel together. Gael pulls herself together and goes to Nathan’s bed. Nathan whispers that he wants to travel with her and loves her more and more. Gael wants to see this in action, but for now they’re reconciled. She questions whether her feelings are real because things with Nathan moved so fast. She hasn’t known him outside a work environment and is scared of going through the same problems as with her ex once they’re not together. I do hope they can make things work post-season. If not, a consolation prize: The Most Crush-Worthy Cast Member award isn’t even a competition. Gael wins hands down.
Meanwhile, Carrie and Joe flirt over some late-night pizza, but in the morning Joe swears to Nathan that Carrie is “so sound” as a mate that he doesn’t even want to go there. Nathan thinks it’s bullshit — this is Joe’s pattern. Carrie didn’t give in to him, so he’s pretending he didn’t want her. In an interview, Carrie agrees she and Joe are just pals. A producer asks if she has ever hooked up with pals before. Carrie, sheepishly: “Yeah.” The Girl, Don’t Go There nominees are Carrie, Ellie, and Bri. Unfortunately, Ellie and Bri are disqualified because they went there (kissing Joe). By default, the winner is Carrie.
The final charter’s primaries are husbands Stacey and Brad from Virginia celebrating their 27th anniversary. Aesha met them as non-primary guests on Down Under, and she says they’re lovely (at least compared to their drunk friends). While briefing her interior team, Aesha compliments Bri’s new laundry system and Ellie’s décor, but she says Ellie has gotten slower washing dishes. Carrie does it in half the time. This is only the beginning of Aesha’s growing list of Ellie’s work slipping. When she asks Ellie to clean the stairs, Ellie helps Bri make the cabins instead, seemingly to gossip.
Aesha notices fingerprints all over the hallway and radios Ellie, who’s “flouncing around the crew mess.” Aesha has to go find her to reclean. Ellie, in the name of high standards, tells us she’s checking out because she doesn’t like how she’s treated. Aesha is being shorter with her now that Carrie’s onboard, but if Ellie truly wanted to improve at the job, she would learn to take criticism. I think what has bummed me out so much this season with Ellie as a villain is her lack of self-awareness. She’s often so close to getting it but then misses the point, so I just feel sad for her. In our postmodern age of reality TV, people tend to realize when they’re getting the villain edit, but instead of embracing it or leaning into being an agent of chaos, Ellie seems incapable of having fun.
Ellie can’t help trying to one-up Carrie and turns espresso martini–making into a competition. Carrie doesn’t let it faze her. We learn that her chief-stew position in New York turned into caregiving when the owner’s wife got sick, so it’s nice for her to have less responsibility here as a break from higher-stress jobs. What a refreshing perspective. I’m quickly snapped out of any deeper thoughts when a guest orders a vodka-soda with a little bit of pre-workout.
Bri goes on break, so Ellie goes to help Carrie in the laundry room. Carrie’s writing things down and trying not to mess with Bri’s system. Carrie thinks there are too many cooks in the kitchen, which offends Ellie, who sees this as a floater telling a second stew how to do her job. When Bri returns, Carrie fills her in, describing Ellie coming in “like a tornado.” This feels like a confirmation that Ellie was partly to blame for messing the laundry up before, even if unintentionally. For non-décor, she doesn’t seem to have the best eye for detail: At the bar, Aesha still has to remind her to put lids back on bottles. Ellie says table décor is the only thing bringing her any joy on “this soul-sucking boat.” Later, Aesha radios for Carrie to go to the pantry, then Ellie radios seemingly right after asking Carrie to help her decorate the top deck. Aesha thinks it’s a power move, and she’s ready to squash any attempted coup. If Aesha is Jesus and the stews are her disciples, Ellie is Judas: “Is iT mE, JeSus?”
Tonight’s theme is Swedish-pop musical. (I’m guessing they couldn’t clear Mamma Mia!) Jono’s happy to have an all-queer group of guests and really wants them to enjoy the food. They do, though they note that all his dishes have a bit of a delayed kick to them. The primaries requested a post-dinner crew performance, for which Joe and Gael do a choreographed dance while everyone else freestyles and sways behind them. Nathan wears a neon unitard. Frankly, it’s not their best performance. The Outstanding Choreography award goes to no one.
The next day, Aesha rewards Bri’s improvement by sending her on an excursion to the Temple of Poseidon. Iain also hasn’t gone on one yet, so he reps the deck crew. In the car with the guests, Bri says she should’ve Googled some facts about the place before. Okay, so she hasn’t improved that much. But Iain says he’s got it sorted! He’s used to being the entertainment person even though he has been behind the scenes on Mustique. As they tour the ruins, he impressively rattles off facts without even reading. If the nominees for Most Improved are Bri and Iain, he wins. After a rough first half, he kept his head down, all the recent dockings have been error free, and playing tour guide clinched the win.
That evening, Ellie once again bosses Bri and Carrie around in the name of decorating. She’s “just speaking from experience” when it comes to hanging tinsel curtains. She radios them with multiple requests and micromanages a seemingly simple rainbow-balloon-wall installation, and Aesha notices it all. Aesha asks Carrie if Ellie is overstepping, and Carrie says “sometimes”; it’d be a problem if it were a whole season. The award for Outstanding Production Design (As an Excuse to Boss People Around) goes to Ellie.
With so much focus on the Ellie-interior issues, there’s basically nothing to report on the deck crew. They do an adorable group hug for their final time, putting the floating dock and water toys away. They seem like the front-runners for the Most Cohesive Team, but in a surprise upset, it goes to … this group of guests! They bring a Pride flag for the ship to fly, have a great attitude, and all wear matching costumes for a Greek-gods theme night. We love to see it.
During dinner, Aesha radios to Jono that they’re clearing the first course. Moments later, Ellie does too. This seems like a tiny mistake; Ellie must not have heard Aesha. Except Aesha explains that Ellie has never radioed that they’re clearing the whole season! She says this is the straw that broke the camel’s back. Or, to keep with the nautical setting, should we say “the straw that choked the turtle”? Too dark? Sorry. Anyway, Aesha pulls Ellie aside to say she’s been overstepping as the second stew over the past few days. We get a montage of Ellie’s past oversteps, including the episode-nine fight with Bri that should’ve been the last straw. Is it just me or would it be iconic lip-sync material? “Bri, listen to me. You do not get to speak to me like this ever again. Who? I am second stew. Do you — stop that. Stop. Stop wiping. We need to talk. You are out of control. Since you don’t know how boats work, second stew outranks you. So that is who I am.”
Back in the present, Ellie thinks she’s being scapegoated. This doesn’t make sense because she’s being blamed for things she’s actually doing; Aesha’s done coddling her. I made this analogy previously, but Ellie really is like a 2-year-old former only child having a tough time with a new baby sister. To prove her worth in this new family dynamic, she insists on making her own breakfast, spilling Cheerios and milk all over the floor, which makes Mom (a.k.a. Aesha) realize Ellie’s not as capable as she thinks she is. With less than 24 hours left in the charter, I doubt any changes will be made before it’s over, but I could see Ellie pulling a Barbie and leaving a day early.
Next week’s finale should bring some real hardware in the form of an engagement ring. Earlier, Aesha checked in with Sandy about details for her proposal: flowers, a violinist, Champagne, etc. Sandy wants it to be perfect. Aesha has permission to watch from afar (LOL), but from the preview, it looks as though a tender mishap may pose a problem with the plan.
