Editor’s note: The following contains spoilers for Agatha All Along Episodes 1 – 2.The moment the mysterious Rio Vidal (Aubrey Plaza) slinks into Agatha Harkness’ (Kathryn Hahn) detective office in the first episode of Agatha All Along, something shifts in the Marvel series’ already-witchy air. Each time their eyes meet, an electric charge fills the room — and it’s not merely Agatha’s buried subconscious clawing free of the false identity that Wanda Maximoff (Elizabeth Olsen) trapped her inside at the end of WandaVision. Plaza and Hahn’s chemistry is polarizing and overpowering, their characters at one another’s throats long before Rio actually tries to stab a dagger through Agatha’s neck. Because, oh, yes, this stupendously depraved tension is sapphic enough that if you dropped a lit match, the building might instantly combust into flames the color of a Pride flag. Call the fire department, but also call my lawyer — because if later episodes don’t canonize Agatha and Rio’s “vindictive former lovers” coding by securing them in a lip-lock, I will be sorely disappointed.
Aubrey Plaza’s Rio (Thankfully) Doesn’t Hold Back in ‘Agatha All Along’
In the year of Marvel Jesus 2024, Agatha and Rio can’t possibly be accidental. Nor, for those of us familiar with conventional storytelling tropes, is it just Agatha’s false “Agnes” persona bristling as an unwelcome, out-of-touch, and controlling FBI agent invades her small-town territory. Television has seen variations of this scene before: a local hot mess of a detective with frizzy hair, a sour mood, and unresolved trauma clashing with a perfectly put-together government official in their equally perfect suit. Agatha All Along‘s self-aware meta style means that the characters’ “first” encounter” plays those clues plus an extra layer: a surprise reunion between old, burned exes.
Rio’s sultry nature just enhances this idea. Beyond the striking red lipstick, strong eyeliner, and refined up-do, Rio stalks Agatha like a lazy predator. She drapes herself across furniture, she drags her hooded gaze up and down Agatha’s limbs, and she drops suggestive comments with Plaza’s trademark sneering drawl. The woman seems to both relish and despise seeing Agatha so unaware of her true self, scoffing over Agatha-as-Agnes’s Mare of Easttown meets The Killing demeanor with disdainful disappointment. Every lingering glance is as sharp as a loaded dagger.
Agatha-as-Agnes, meanwhile, is unsettled; she either twitches away from Rio or assesses her out of the corner of her eye with clear discomfort. She instinctively despises this woman yet can’t pinpoint why — and that repulsion draws her in. As Rio taunts Agatha out of her mental prison, the tension only continues to ratchet up. An overheated and sweaty Agatha starts stripping through layers of her different WandaVision costumes until she emerges as herself once more — and naked, with Rio having verbally egged her on from the corner of the room. Welcome to Westview, babes, where the tension is queer, witchy, and thick enough to have a coughing fit over.
Agatha Harkness Does Her Best To Fight Off Rio’s Deadly Charm
Said tension culminates — only for now, hopefully — in a sequence that both must be seen to be believed and serves as a sight for sore eyes. Once Agatha restores herself to the big bad witch we know and love, Rio initiates a one-on-one brawl full of vicious headbutts, sadistic giggling, attempted choking, bodies themselves around on the floor, and a classic knife-held-to-the-throat moment. The electricity is visceral, all the more so for the poisonous scorn that speaks to years (if not centuries) of history between these two women. The spiteful Rio — now clad in an all-black fit complete with ankle boots, a belt, and a hood — draws blood from Agatha’s neck and coos that she missed her. Presumably, Rio has thirsted (get it?) for this chance to inflict pain upon Agatha.
Ms. Harkness, meanwhile, issues her quips through seething tears. She’s back on her mental game, but Agatha made her life by being a ruthless survivor. She can’t win a sorcery fight without her powers — and how does she de-escalate this violence? By lowering her softened voice, slinking toward Rio while reminding her fellow witch how “you prefer me.” To which Rio replies, “Horizontal,” followed by “in a grave” after quite the deliberate pause. Between the innuendos, both women’s heavy breathing, and Rio claiming her “black heart beats for” Agatha before licking Agatha’s bloody palm, the practically undeniable implication is that these two are exes who despise one another but still can’t help wanting to crush their mouths together. After this first episode, I can promise that the audience wants the same.
At the very least, perhaps Rio and Agatha never acted upon their sexually charged tension. That’s easy enough to remedy. I had high expectations for Agatha All Along, but enemies-to-lovers (or enemies-and-lovers) between witches? A lustful history that practically screams sapphic from the rooftops? Let alone between Kathryn Hahn and Aubrey Plaza, whose combined chemistry could light a dozen bonfires? Stick a fork in me, I’m done — but not before I’ve finished begging the great Marvel Jesus for that kiss. It’s the least we all deserve.
New episodes of Agatha All Along air Wednesdays at 6:00pm PST/9:00pm EST on Disney+ in the U.S.
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