This wasnāt easy, but it was fun ā like most things with Van Halen.
Ranking any great bandās discography is bound to irritate some fans, especially a band like this, which enjoyed two highly successful ā and fairly divergent ā runs with two famous frontmen. The third, which weāll get to in a minute, tripped on its laces and face-planted at the starting line.
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Iāll cut to the chase: Iām an unapologetic shill for the original, David Lee Roth-fronted Van Halen lineup, and the reason is simple. I think the band put out better material with him. The attitude, the look, and most importantly, the Van Halen sound I love comes from the Roth era.
DLR haters will say his voice is weak compared to his replacement, Sammy Hagar. No argument there, but this isnāt the opera. As longtime SPIN contributor Chuck Klosterman put it, āRoth sounds the way the singer from Van Halen is supposed to soundā ā which is to say, like a horny surfer with a two-packs-of-Marlboros-a-day habit.Ā
This doesnāt mean I hate Hagar, or begrudge him for joining VH in 1985 when Roth left the band because any singer with an IQ above room temperature wouldāve done the same thing. And Iāll admit, Iāve had some fun nights at Cabo Wabo.Ā
His version of VH was softer and more focused on pumping out keyboard-driven love songs that didnāt offend listeners. It was Disney-fied Van Halen. Thatās fine, because a lot of people like Disney, and a lot of people like Van Hagar. They still put out some incredible songs following the switch.
But the fact that the band was able to enjoy such prolonged success ā more than 80 million albums sold worldwide ā is ultimately a testament to the late Edward Van Halen. Add me to the list of writers who have called him a musical genius, because he was ā- a classically trained pianist who instantly reinvented the act of playing the electric guitar when Van Halenās debut album was released in 1978.
He had a lot of help from his loyal brother and drummer, Alex Van Halen, bassist Michael Anthony and his primo backing vocals, and later, his son Wolfgang Van Halen. Altogether, the band put out 12 studio albums between ā78 and 2012, and Iām about to chug a Heineken and rank them from worst to best, for you.
12. Van Halen III (1998)
This is the musical equivalent of Shaq in a Celtics jersey: a once-dominant juggernaut thatās now battered, semi-recognizable, and running on fumes. What the hell happened here? Well, Ex-Extreme singer Gary Cherone joined the fold for his first and only album with the band, after Hagar was kicked to the curb ā or quit, depending on whose story you hear ā and a ā96 reunion with Roth crashed and burned five minutes after takeoff. The result isnāt good, so unless your goal is to depress a VH fan in your life, I canāt recommend a single song here. Itās not really Cheroneās fault, and producer Mike Post has said this was an album done āEddieās wayā ā ie., without the interference of any meddling lead singers. ā[Cherone] grew up on Van Halen and it wasnāt somebody with a big sense of himself the way that Sammy was,ā Post told The Hustle podcast. āEddie came in and basically said, āLook, sing this this way.āā That plan didnāt work, and Iāve already said way too much about III. Letās keep it moving.Ā
11. OU812 (1988)
If Google had any sense of humor, the cover of OU812 would pop up anytime you searchĀ āsophomore slump.ā There are two big problems with Hagarās second album with the band. The production is brutal ā it sounds like this was recorded inside a prison cell, not the same room as 1984 ā and the songs are hit-or-miss, but mostly the latter. āWhen Itās Loveā is the worst single Van Halen put out from either the Roth or Hagar Eras. Itās overly sentimental and generic, words that were never used to describe Van Halen when they first hit the scene a decade earlier. Chorus lyrics such as āHow will I know when itās love? / I canāt tell you, but it lasts foreverā will make you want to employ the green sick face emoji, but there are some moments here. āFinish What You Started,ā a country-infused bop about blue balls, is catchy as hell, and thanks to one of EVHās beefiest riffs, āCabo Waboā is the best song of the bunch. Itās also three minutes too long.
10. Diver Down (1982):Ā
First things first ā this is a fun album. Itās upbeat, the production is crisp (as usual with Ted Templeman), and the band sounds like theyāre having way more fun than they were while recording it. The vibe is contagious, but there isnāt enough original material here to warrant ranking it higher. Diver Down is what many fans derisively refer to as the bandās ācovers albumā since it has five, with the remaining seven tracks comprised of three EVH instrumentals and four originals. To be fair, Van Halen was a victim of their success during this period ā thanks to a splendid cover of Roy Orbisonās ā(Oh) Pretty Womanā that raced up the charts in early ā82, they had to hustle back into the studio to get an LP out. The best of the originals is āSecrets,ā which offers an atypically subdued vocal delivery and top-notch guitar solo.
9. Balance (1995):Ā
The album title is fitting, since thereās some good stuff offset by a healthy dose of filler. Skip past bland rockers such as āBig Fat Moneyā and āTake Me Back (Deja Vu),ā and take this as a warning to not waste 98 seconds of your life on whatever āStrung Outā is. Otherwise, āCanāt Stop Loving Youā is a snappy soft-rock tune that youāll likely still hear in the grocery store nearly 30 years later, and āAftershockā is one of the most underrated Van Hagar songs. What makes Balance interesting is how EVHās guitar playing had evolved by ā95. Heād traded a bit of speed for a crunchier, heavier tone, and it pays off on songs such as āDonāt Tell Me (What Love Can Do)ā and āAmsterdam.ā His fat riff and killer solo on the latter are so good that youāll be able to overlook the goofball stoner lyrics ā something EVH wasnāt able to do himself (āLyrics should plant some sort of seed for thought, or at least be a little more [metaphorical],ā he told Guitar World in 1996). In related news, this was Hagarās final LP with the band.
8. A Different Kind of Truth (2012)
Rothās first Van Halen album since the Reagan administration offers periodic glimpses of what made Van Halen the biggest band in the world at one point. Yes, a bulk of the tracks are recycled leftovers from the ā70s and ā80s, but that doesnāt mean theyāre bad ā āBlood and Fire,ā the propulsive āSheās the Womanā and āChinatown,ā in particular, wouldāve fit seamlessly on any of the bandās first six albums. The big change here, of course, was Wolfgang Van Halen replacing Michael Anthony on bass. Anthony is one of the best backing vocalists in rock history, and that fact always seemed to be undervalued by EVH. Still, WVH fills in admirably. This isnāt just a nepo baby case ā heās talented, and his voice blends rather nicely with his dadās. Thatās especially clear on āYou and Your Blues,ā the best song on the album.
7. For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge (1991)
F.U.C.K. was a nice bounce-back album for VH in ā91, following the trainwreck that was OU812. In short: Itās the hardest and rock-iest Van Hagar album, and thatās a good thing. Iād advise you to go beyond the two best-known songs on the album, though. āPoundcakeā gets stale fast, and āRight Nowā is just way too soppy. More worthwhile are āRunaroundā and its polished pre-chorus, the straightforward rockers āJudgement Dayā and āThe Dream Is Over,ā and ā316,ā an EVH acoustic number dedicated to his son, who was born on March 16, 1991. Plus, itās hard not to have a pep in your step when you throw on āTop of the World,ā the best song here.Ā
6. Women and Children First (1980)
Three-peating is hard ā just ask Steph Curry or LeBron James. After blitzing the rock world with back-to-back classics in ā78 and ā79, Van Halenās third album was, understandably, a minor drop-off by comparison. The material just isnāt as strong, with songs such as āFoolsā and āLoss of Controlā unable to compete with the album tracks on most Roth-era releases. āAnd the Cradle Will Rockā was an odd choice for the albumās first and only single, as its arguably only the fourth or fifth-best song here. Thanks to Alex Van Halenās eerie jungle drumming and a salacious DLR breakdown (āI like the little way the line runs up the back of the stockingsā¦ā), āEverybody Wants Some!!ā has rightfully become a fan favorite. Still, WACF is really saved by two of the best songs VH ever recorded. āRomeo Delightā is the most heavy metal song this non-metal band ever put out ā Roth liked to call the bandās sound āBig Rock,ā and I think thatās fitting ā and closer āIn a Simple Rhymeā is an unheralded gem. Between its melodic acoustic intro, buzzsaw riff, and angelic harmonies, it makes WACF worth owning ā or streaming.
5. 5150 (1986)
Even the most ardent Roth fans (raises hand) have to admit the first Van Hagar album is full of bangers. Take your pick, because thereās a lot to like. āSummer Nightsā and its slinky intro rocks, the title track is one of the five best songs from Hagarās tenure (thanks in large part to a blistering solo from EVH), and āBest of Both Worldsā is the actual best Van Halen song with Sammy on vocals. āGood Enoughā was an apt opener here, as it let diehards know that this version of VH may not touch the original, but itās good enough to occasionally scratch your headbanging itch. The keyboard-driven songs, on the other hand, are less moving. āWhy Canāt This Be Loveā was a terrible choice as the first Van Hagar single ā the hella ā80s synth, combined with the Grade A cheesy lyrics, made it clear this was VH Lite. The absence of longtime producer Ted Templeman is glaring, most notably in the equalization of all the instruments (farewell, EVHās guitar being mostly piped through the left side of the speaker). The discourse about 5150 is understandably focused on Hagar, who was the new guy. However, the more you listen to the album, the more you detect the raw power of EVHās playing. His solos ā particularly on āDreamsā and the title track ā come across as angry, almost like he was taking his disdain for Roth out on his Frankenstrat. Whatever he was feeling, it worked because 5150 still holds up.
4. Van Halen II (1979)
You wonāt find an album that oozes SoCal more than this one. You could be driving through North Dakota on a snowy January night, throw this one on, and easily imagine youāre coasting along the PCH on a 70-degree day. Start with āBeautiful Girls.ā āI got a drink in my hand / I got my toes in the sand / All I need is a beautiful girllll,ā Roth croons, before the turbocharged harmonies of EVH and Anthony kick in. Imagine the Beach Boys if they suddenly employed the GOAT guitarist and a horndog lead singer (and who could forget the songās iconic sync in Saturday Night Liveās āSchmittās Gay Beerā parody). āDance the Night Away,ā the better-known pop-rock hit from VHII, might be something true heshers skip if theyāre listening with friends, but theyāll likely throw it on the second theyāre alone. Thereās also plenty here for hard rock fans to enjoy, with āSomebody Get Me a Doctor,ā āD.O.A.,ā and āLight Up the Sky,ā sure to prime you for any Friday night rager.
3. Fair Warning (1981)
Dark, sordid, and often angry, Van Halenās worst-selling album from its original lineup reflected the bandās growing disunity by 1981. Despite the friction ā or maybe because of it ā Fair Warning is a stone cold classic. Thatās clear from the jump, with the frenzied intro to āMean Streetsā punching you in the ear and letting you know this is a different side of VH (it has been described as the sound of Van Halen āafter midnightā). āHear About It Laterā and the reggae-influenced āPush Comes To Shoveā (trust me, it works) have two of the best solos EVH ever laid down, and āUnchainedā is simply the best song the band ever recorded. The riff is heavier than a āMy 600 Pound Lifeā patient, DLRās mid-song razzing of Templeman is gold, and good luck keeping up with Anthonyās bass line without a faceful of coke. If you donāt like this song ā or album ā you donāt like Van Halen.
2. Van Halen (1978)
What else is there to say at this point? Itās a cliche to note Van Halen is one-third of the Holy Trinity of Debut Rock Albums, alongside Jimi Hendrixās Are You Experienced and Guns Nā Rosesā Appetite for Destruction, but itās true. I could talk about the hits, or tell you to throw on stealth gems like āFeel Your Love Tonight,ā a song so āpalpably live,ā as Chuck Klosterman described it, that youāll feel like youāre listening to it from inside the Whisky a Go Go circa 1977. Like all truly great albums, the devil is in the details. Thatās what makes it worth revisiting over and over, 46 years after it was released. I love the blaring car horn at the start of āRunning With the Devil.ā I love the way EVHās guitar sounds like a 12-foot wave crashing down halfway through āAināt Talkinā āBout Love.ā I love DLRās acoustic intro to āIce Cream Man.ā I love the bizarre yet endearing barbershop breakdown in āIām the One.ā I love those gravity-defying final 45 seconds of āEruption.ā If youāre a rock fan and havenāt heard this album yet, throw it on now. Iām sure youāll find plenty to love, too.
1. 1984 (1984)
What do you get when a musical genius reaches his creative peak, builds his own studio, ingests copious amounts of cocaine and vodka, and refuses to sleep for days on end? A masterpiece, apparently. Thereās no other way to describe 1984. This is a definitive āno skipsā album. After building his 5150 Studio at his Coldwater Canyon mansion, EVH was the driving force here musically, even more so than usual. But Roth was at the top of his lyrical game too, a fact evident on songs such as āDrop Dead Legs,ā which has one of the best guitar outros in VH history and some of the funniest lyrics of all time (only Roth, or possibly Mick Jagger, could get away with singing about a āgiant buttā that gives them the shakes). āGirls Gone Badā is another guns-blazing banger on which Rothās salacious lyrics fit like a leather glove, and I highly recommend blasting while attempting a deadlift personal record. Then thereās the hits. āPanamaā duly remains a classic rock staple, and āHot for Teacherā is the band’s second-best track ever recorded. The song has it all, but Alex Van Halenās memorable and innovative drumming deserves a special shout-out (Anthony also gets points for his hilarious attempt to grab the hot teacher in the music video). Some purists still cry about the two keyboard tracks 40 years later, and admittedly thatās not my favorite VH flavor. But āJumpā is a certified pop mega-hit ā the bandās first and No. 1 single ā with a sublime guitar solo. Deal with it. 1984 is the album that pushed Van Halen into another tier of stardom, but the party didnāt last much longer. Egos and creative friction led to Rothās exit a year later. That blows. And yet, maybe it had to end this way, with the band at their apex. Before Rothās hair fell out. Before Eddie wore those pink parachute pants. And before they tried to top this album.
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