If you didn’t grow up on “Buffy the Vampire Slayer,” and happened to catch “one of the best horror movies of 2024 in “I Saw the TV Glow,” much of Jane Schoenbrun’s film might have gone over your head. The film is indebted to “Buffy” in many ways, most obviously with its show-within-a-film “The Pink Opaque,” which takes its cues from the beloved WB/CW series. But there’s also a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it cameo from Amber Benson, who for three seasons of “Buffy” played witch Tara Maclay.
Alongside co-star Alyson Hannigan, who played Willow Rosenberg, Benson would depict one of TV’s first serious relationships between two women. “Buffy” never treated Willow and Tara’s love as anything other than serious and meaningful, and steered well clear of using it as some sort of punchline or curio. As such, Benson has become a beloved figure of LGBTQ empowerment ever since. This is partly why Schoenbrun decided to feature the actress in their movie, and indeed why the Wiccan protagonists of “The Pink Opaque” — one of which is named Tara — so closely mirror Hannigan and Benson’s characters.
Loving “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” has become quite complicated in the wake of multiple allegations of workplace misconduct and outright emotional abuse against show creator Joss Whedon. But it wasn’t a straightforward show to love back during its run, either — especially after Tara was killed off in season 6, episode 19, “Seeing Red.” The unexpected death led to a backlash among fans, one of whom was Schoenbrun themself. During a Q&A for “TV Glow” (via Polygon), the director explained how Benson’s cameo was designed as a salve for long-suffering Tara fans:
“In the context of what happened to Tara, [the cameo] was, for me, a bit of a corrective. I was like, ‘I want to see her on-screen.’ […] It’s just really important to me, just personally as a fan, to see that she’s alive.”
But before “Buffy” went off the air in 2003, Benson herself had an opportunity to appear “on-screen” as Tara following the character’s death. The actress turned it down, however. Why? Well, like so much else related to “Buffy,” the answer is complicated.
Amber Benson almost returned to Buffy after Tara’s death
In “Seeing Red,” Tara is killed after villain Warren Mears (Adam Busch) fires a gun through a window and unwittingly hits Tara. She then collapses in front of Willow, who cradles her as she passes away. It’s one of many truly harrowing moments in “Buffy” that left a lasting impression on the show and fans worldwide. Tara had been a part of the series since the acclaimed — and downright terrifying — season four episode “Hush,” and quickly established herself as a worthy and beloved member of Buffy’s friend group, especially after she and Willow started their relationship. So, losing Tara in such a seemingly random and horrifying manner was a lot to take for many fans.
However, following this upsetting turn of events there was actually an opportunity for Benson to return for the season seven episode “Conversations with Dead People,” in which several characters encounter people who have seemingly returned from the beyond. However, the actress did not reprise her role, telling the BBC there were “extenuating circumstances” at play.
Benson claimed at the time that she didn’t really “want to go into” what those circumstances were, but in retrospect, the actress was likely referring to what, in a 2021 tweet, she deemed a “toxic environment.” This is the same toxic environment that also impacted Sarah Michelle Gellar’s vision of life on the “Buffy” set, and refers to the aforementioned allegations against Joss Whedon. In the tweet, sent in support of her former co-star and Cordelia actress Charisma Carpenter, Benson continued: “It starts at the top. [Carpenter] is speaking truth and I support her 100%. There was a lot of damage done during that time and many of us are still processing it 20-plus years later.” But there’s more to it than that, as it seems there were some interpersonal conflicts that played into these circumstances.
Why Amber Benson turned down Joss Whedon’s offer
Despite all of the issues Amber Benson had with the “Buffy” set, it seems at the time she was asked to return for “Conversations with Dead People,” she was actually considering it quite seriously. In her BBC interview, the actress revealed that she wanted to reprise the role of Tara, and “almost did,” but that she ultimately felt put off by the prospect of playing an evil version of the character. Had she agreed to come back, Benson would not have been portraying Tara herself, but a version of the final season’s “big bad,” The First Evil, who took on Tara’s form. She continued:
“I would love to have come back but sometimes there are things in your life that you have to stand up for and to tell you the God’s honest truth, I really didn’t want Tara to be bad, and that would have been a component of me coming back.”
As if that wasn’t enough of a mess in and of itself, Benson has since expanded on her reasons for never returning to the role of Tara, and those “extenuating circumstances” once again seem to be at the core of it. In the book “Into Every Generation a Slayer Is Born: How Buffy Staked Our Hearts” by Evan Ross Katz, Benson spoke much more openly about her decision not to return to the series. The actress said that she “had some issues with somebody on the show,” and that “it had kind of come to a head as [she] was getting ready to leave.”
You might think Benson was referring to Joss Whedon himself, here, given the accusations that have arisen since “Buffy” went off-air and Benson’s support for Carpenter. But given the actress had already tweeted in support of her colleague and the allegations against Whedon were very public by the time “Into Every Generation a Slayer Is Born” arrived in 2022, it seems likely the actress is actually referring to someone else on the “Buffy” set.
Amber Benson had issues with a mystery person on the Buffy set
In her “Into Every Generation a Slayer Is Born” interview, Amber Benson speaks more about how her issues with this unidentified person of the “Buffy” set played into her decision to leave the show behind and not return for “Conversations with Dead People.” “Leaving the show was sad,” she says. “There are some of the crew and the writers and some of the cast that I just adore, but I had made my peace with that person and the show and I was done: ‘I’m leaving everything in a good place. I don’t need to come back.'”
Fans have speculated about who this person may be, but Benson is yet to confirm anything. Regardless, based on the actress’ own recollection of making “peace” with the individual, it seems as though her decision not to come back for the season seven episode was motivated by more than lingering concerns about her interpersonal relationships.
In her interview, Benson did explain that, following Tara’s death, the “s**t hit the fan and Joss realized he had messed up.” According to her, fans were “sending faxes to that production office,” and Joss Whedon ultimately realized he “had made a mistake, that he had been short-sighted” by killing off Tara. She continued:
“I truly, for all of his faults and for all of the things about him that are frustrating, I don’t think he ever meant to hurt the LGBTQ+ community. He just wasn’t thinking […] But I didn’t want to come back. He really wanted me to come back and we just couldn’t come to an agreement on it. And most of that was my schedule.”
So, aside from the bad energy hanging over “Buffy” and its toxic set preventing Benson from coming back, it really does seem that she was tied up with other projects at the time she was asked to return.
There’s more to why Tara never came back to Buffy
If the controversy surrounding Tara’s death and Amber Benson not returning to “Buffy” hasn’t yet convinced you that this show was a mess behind the scenes, there’s even more that goes into Benson’s decision not to return to the series. In her “Into Every Generation a Slayer Is Born” interview, the actress spoke about yet another aspect that played into her not appearing in “Conversations with Dead People.” Specifically, it seems the actress had a hard time trusting that her character would be treated the way she hoped — which judging by the backlash against Tara’s death, is a perfectly reasonable concern. Benson claimed that she “didn’t really trust what was going to happen to the character” if she returned to the show, adding:
“I think that’s something if you’ve talked to some other cast, people are like ‘Yeah, I came back… and then he just did what he wanted. Even though he told me that he wasn’t going to kill me in this way, he killed me in that way.’ I just didn’t feel super trusting of the situation.”
Ultimately, then, the reason we never got to see Tara again until Jane Schoenbrun provided their “corrective” was multi-faceted. Scheduling issues, a lack of trust, old interpersonal issues, and a toxic set all played into why Tara was never seen again after her season six demise.
Thankfully, Tara fans have since been gifted with more than just Benson’s “I Saw the TV Glow” cameo. In 2023, the actress co-wrote, directed, and lent her voice to “Slayers: A Buffyverse Story,” an Audible series that continued the Buffy story without the titular slayer. While star Sarah Michelle Gellar wasn’t involved, neither was Joss Whedon. In the latter’s case, that was very deliberate, as the series told a story about recovering from and overcoming a troubled past. With everything we know about “Buffy” at this point, the allegory is not all that subtle, but necessary nonetheless. In the meantime, we can be glad that Tara, and “Buffy” generally, remain as enduringly beloved as ever, with Schoenbrun’s film in particular representing a fittingly heartfelt ode to the character and show.