If you had given 13-year-old me a choice whether to move to Hong Kong or stay in Toronto, chances are I would have said, “No way I’m going to Hong Kong! Why leave everything I know and love to start over somewhere so completely new and different?”
Well, we moved anyway, and like any kind of big change, it wasn’t easy. Oftentimes it was straight-up uncomfortable and disorienting. One example: In Canada, people only saw me as Chinese, but all of a sudden, in Hong Kong, I wasn’t “Chinese” enough because I didn’t speak Cantonese well and dressed differently. Very confusing. I felt lonely in a new place, like no one understood me or seemed to care about how I was doing. It was hard. But the thing I didn’t expect was how much I’d learn about myself by working through all those challenges, and how many of those experiences ended up being amazing and important ones. I learned to speak my family’s language better. I made amazing friends I’m still close with today. I fell in love with a beautiful, vibrant, and unique city. I discovered so many sumptuous Chinese desserts, from bowl pudding cake to my favorite gooey Hong Kong French toast!
Writing this book felt eerily similar to that move to Hong Kong. I’d never made a graphic novel before, and everything felt new and scary. Originally, I had wanted to make a book about how my father was born while his family was on the run during the Second Sino-Japanese War. My grandmother and aunt would tell this story to my cousins and me every year growing up. It had become a Chan family legend. But the more I wrote, the more I realized why the story had always stuck with me. Just like my grandmother and her family, I had also been uprooted from all I knew.
I switched gears and started rewriting the book to tell both the myth-like story of my father’s birth and my own story about moving. Sometimes it felt like I had no idea what I was doing, and there were days when I thought I’d rip my hair out and I’d have to go on a big, long walk with my dog. But just like when I moved to Hong Kong all those years ago, I found that unexpectedly wonderful things emerged as I struggled to make this book.
I laughed my way through hundreds of photos, (very cringey) diary entries, and even faxes (from when my mom forbade me from using the phone because I was spending too much time on it, so Bonnie and I sent faxes to each other instead). My parents and friends and I had long, intimate conversations about what we remembered from that time. I fell in love with Hong Kong all over again, and I got to look back and see how my time there shaped me into who I am today. Above all, I got to honor the incredible strength that my Mah Mah, my aunt, and my parents possessed in overcoming all the things that came their way, a strength I hoped had been passed down to me.
I still get nervous when I speak Cantonese, and I still don’t like chicken feet. But making this book has helped me grow and has made me see, once again, how courage, perseverance, and patience can help you get through some hard times. It’s amazing how adaptable we are as humans. Life isn’t always smooth or in our control, and oftentimes we can’t predict what’s going to happen or how people will react. To top it all off, most things that help us grow and learn aren’t easy. But if you reach out, stay open, give yourself time, and keep going, you’ll find your people and you’ll find all sorts of unexpectedly wonderful things waiting for you.
I hope this book helps you feel a little less lonely when you are facing something new or difficult, and reminds you that you are home wherever you are because of the people who love you and believe in you.
Ruth Chan is an illustrator and author who spent her childhood tobogganing in Canada, her teens in Hong Kong and China, a number of years studying art and education, and a decade working with youth and families in underserved communities. She now writes and illustrates children’s books and comics in Brooklyn NY and remains a proud Canadian.