Is love this misguiding need to have you beside me most of the time?
Is love this safety I feel in our silences?
Is it this belonging, this completeness?
-Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie (half of a yellow sun)
What is your perception of love?
Many view love as a transactional process. You give, I take, or Vice versa. To others, it’s a form of communication that validates their entire existence, and to some, it’s a home, a place, a familiar scent, a person, etc. To me, loving is a form of acceptance that doesn’t require a watered down version of yourself to thrive.
As humans, there’s a tendency for us to change as we grow up, switch environments or countries, meet new people and see new places. For every experience we encounter, a part of us is left in that moment; this forms the basis of who we are as a people. When you say you “love” someone, what do you mean?
I once walked into a store to get a bottle of perfume. I walked everywhere but I couldn’t find that particular bottle. “Hello, do you have this fragrance”? I whispered to the store attendant. “I’m sorry ma’am, it’s finished, could you get another one? It’s from the same company”. “No, I’ll come back when you have it”, I said. Two weeks later I walked into that same store and found what I was looking for. I felt a certain glow in my heart. Is this what loving something feels like? The feeling of satisfaction from the littlest of things, the feeling of safety from the fact that I knew I would find it there? I do not know, I can not tell, but it felt nice.
When you finally begin to see love as a basis for surviving instead of a necessity you need to get through certain random moments, you will finally begin to understand what it takes to love.
Although, humans are no perfume bottles. You may never be able to find the same person twice in a lifetime, so while they are here, give them all the love you can. Don’t take them for granted. Immerse yourself in the moment and just feel. It may hurt to give a part of yourself to someone and watch it all go to pieces, but we don’t know why we love until we do.
One thing, you never lose when you love genuinely. Give people their flowers if and when you can, love endlessly, love freely, and most importantly, love genuinely.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
Make someone smile today.
Watch a movie.
Curl up and re-read your favorite book.
Phone a friend. Do something that makes you happy.
Just L-o-v-e.