Many people have given me identical words of constructive criticism over the years. Both my co-workers from corporate and non-profit organizations, as well as those I’ve known throughout my stages of being an “internet entrepreneur,” each have asked me the same questions: who are you really, and what motivates you to work like you do?
As an employee, I developed the reputation of being productive yet easy to work with on any task.
In order to answer these two questions, it’s necessary to start from the beginning. Writing has always been my strongest skill. When I was very young, I was a bit advanced for my age; I could spell, use grammar and write paragraphs when I was a small kid. At every grade level of my education, the writing skill was getting stronger over time. Writing was something that was self-fulfilling and helped me achieve good grades in school. When it came to the opportunity of sharing my writing with others, I was somewhat shy at first. Here I have a skill that I was using to make writing for my eyes only, and the prospect of having others reading it was overwhelming at first.
I had my first breakthrough in the sixth grade. My teacher created a school newspaper/magazine as an extracurricular activity. When I found out about this opportunity, I put my shyness aside and committed to being a writer on the project who wanted all of the other students to read and experience unique writing.
I made contributions to a variety of sections. However, the piece that many readers resonated with was my article on Britney Spears and her career as an upcoming pop star. I received a lot of positive feedback on the Britney piece, and it even caught the attention of the school principal.
At lunch one day, my principal asked if I did the research and writing on the article myself, and I told her that I had. She responded with a lot of great feedback; she said some things that still motivate me. I think about what she said whenever I’m feeling down and it makes things a lot better.
Even though I was a writer, I gained experience in the fine and performing arts especially when I was in high school and college. The first arts website that I made, was a social network for artists and I did not do as much writing as I thought I would. I created articles from time to time, but unfortunately, I was losing faith in my abilities and thought that maybe I should be doing something other than writing.
The good news is that all it takes for change to happen is for one person to say something positive that will motivate you. In my grade school days, those words came from my principal and peers. A couple of years after college, the words came from my co-worker Rob.
I met Rob when I worked at Jewish Family and Childrens Service in St. Louis. I was hired as a Program Assistant for the Harvey Kornblum Jewish Food Pantry. When I started at the company, the Food Pantry had developed into a highly sophisticated operation. It required the use of technology and the coordination of volunteers to successfully operate. It was the type of job where you have to wear a variety of hats at all times. There was always someone to give an intake interview, documents that needed to be entered into a database, many phone calls and messages to answer, and all of the various aspects of business operations. I was committed to meeting the challenges of this job, even if it meant I had to figure out how to do all of this work in one day. It was a great opportunity and I earned the respect of my volunteers and co-workers who really enjoyed working with me.
One day I was at the copy machine when I noticed that Rob came into the hallway to get office supplies. After a few moments, he looked over at me and said “I need to talk to you, after you’re done copying can you meet in my office?” I agreed and immediately became to think about what he wanted to discuss. When I sat down in his office, he told me that he’s hearing all of these great things about working with me, but he wanted to ask the question: who am I really? He wanted to know how I got to this position and what my motivations were.
After about 15 minutes of discussion, he asked about the things that I do outside of work. I told him that I have this arts website but it’s not really earning what I would like it to and it’s somewhat time consuming and I’m thinking about dropping it and doing something else. He asked if he could see the website himself. I typed it into the web browser on his computer and he was amazed. He didn’t understand exactly what the website aimed to do so he said, “Let me take a look at this. Come back to my office in one hour and I will have something for you.”
I had no idea what was in store.
I came back to his office and he said “Your website is basically a blog. You’re like Yahoo News or Buzz Feed.” I told him that was exactly right. He looked at his computer screen and looked back at me and said, “you’re writing is just as good as theirs, or maybe even better.” After I heard that, the rest was history. I decided not to give up as a writer and instead continue to share my gift with as many artists and readers that I possibly can.
What Rob said struck a chord in much the same way as my principal’s feedback.
Now I am in the same dichotomous challenge that many other writers find themselves in: do you fully engage as a writer, or do you have other gigs and do writing in your spare time? I’ve experienced both sides. As mentioned above, I had other jobs and did writing on the side. I have also been fortunate enough to have remote writing positions that made it comfortable for me to both write for companies and myself simultaneously, essentially working as full-time as a writer.
No matter what employment structure writers choose, I believe they should have the opportunity to experience love, happiness and the process of being a writer. Love. I believe that all writers should love what they do, if not it would be easier to do something else. Happiness. As a writer, it is a great feeling to develop something and have others learn and be entertained by it. The writer’s lifestyle. It can be challenging to figure out how to write, when to write, what to express. But when writers find their voice, magic tends to happen when they share their works.
One challenge that many people face is depression. Even though I am happy being a digital writer, like others I also need to manage my emotions and thoughts. Particularly over the last seven years, I have gone through periods of suffering from depression. This has significantly reduced my ability to write. I am in a good place right now and I have to give credit to my family for their support, all healthcare professionals who have helped me along the way, and myself for raising yet again to meet a new challenge-even if it is something as personal as depression.
My experience with mental health has caused me to see light at the end of the tunnel. Looking back at the various stages of my life, I realized that I severely neglected mental health. Today I understand that self-care is important. In the past, I had no concept of self-care. Now I understand the importance of taking care of myself emotionally.
I’ve written this article because I want to be authentic as a writer. I want people to see who I really am. I want to share with readers the things that motivate me. Part of being authentic is sharing my true feelings with audiences. I hope this article will inspire other writers and creatives to enjoy and appreciate their journeys while remembering to take care of themselves along the way.