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The FADER: I was looking through a bunch of your freestyles: the Power 106 freestyle you just did, or the Red Bull Spiral freestyle, or even your On The Radar freestyle where you debuted “Ranchero” earlier this year. When you go into these freestyles, are you approaching them differently based on the audience or platform?
Monaleo: That [Power 106] L.A. Leakers freestyle was so difficult for me. I wanted to cancel it because I was so stressed, because I felt like, “This is such a big platform, and if I go on here and I don’t really deliver, I’m gonna do myself a disservice, and I’d rather come back when I feel like I’m ready.” I really, really, really wanted to do it so bad that I didn’t want to do it. I don’t know if that makes sense. I was so excited for it I almost felt like I could not go. I was paralyzed with anxiety. The day before, I didn’t have anything, and I was like, “Man, what am I gonna do?” I’m gonna walk in here and [look bad by comparison] because a lot of people pre-write their verses.
But I’m so glad that I did it, and I did it in one take. That’s just insane, to be that paralyzed with fear and then to go and do it in one take. I really do believe the only person in my way sometimes is me. But when I go to these platforms, I know there’s a certain type of demographic they reach, so I want to make sure to… not pander, but cater to the audience that I’m performing to.
How were things feeling for you before you started recording Throwing Bows?
My life was kind of slowed down […] Music was the last thing I was thinking about, honestly.
You read articles that aren’t favorable, you read comments that aren’t favorable, you read tweets that aren’t favorable. You get in your head like that, and it starts to seep into your fucking bloodstream. Before you know it, you go in the booth to record, [and] you’re discouraged. That’s where I was at, and I wanted to remind myself this shit ain’t even [that serious]…
I think my position is serious, and my impact is serious,and my reach is serious. The interactions that I have with people are serious. Music is definitely very serious, but in terms of a profession, I’m not a doctor. I don’t physically save people’s lives. I might emotionally put people in a better state and inadvertently save their lives. But realistically speaking, I’m just rapping funny shit and making people laugh.
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