This death does not sit right with my soul, I hope her death saves many lives. It is no mistake she is in the Statue of Liberty costume she is a representation of all that is good in America and she still was not happy. She needed a real purpose, not just a job. I pray for her beautiful soul. This has made this 59-year-old man question all the rules and bull we put on men and women. There are countries with far less than America that have truly happy people. I can not imagine the pain of her parents. I have a son her age and you want the best for your children. But when your child is black it comes with a whole lot of BS. They are not good enough because they are black. They can be just like her beautiful, smart, and accomplished, and like she said being thirty and growing older women have no value. So where does a black woman fit? No were in this country. We need a change now. We will not be free until all black people around the world are free.
I hope people really take a minute out of their busy day to think about this. Take a good look at this beautiful woman. I never knew who she was until late last night. I heard about her passing, so I dug in a little deeper. My first thought was, why would someone so beautiful and full of life feel so despondent that it would lead to this? Surely she had to have a TON of friends.
I mean, three years ago Cheslie Kryst won the title of Miss NC and went on to be Crowned Miss USA. As I scrolled through her IG, I studied her face very intently in her most recent posts. I listened to her voice in her videos. Two weeks ago, as a correspondent for EXTRA, she did an interview with Denzel Washington. They were belly laughing, full face smiling, and completely engaged with one another.
I studied her face and wondered if there were any signs that people who knew her might have missed. Not only did she seem happy, but she also seemed on top of the world. Yesterday she jumped from the 29th story of a 60 story building, leaving only a note behind. I’ve wondered what it said.
I don’t know what pain she must have been feeling that lead her to make that decision. I thought about how she made her farewell post on IG, only 30 minutes prior to her being found on that cold NYC street.
I wondered what her dialogue was as she prepared for that moment. In the end, all of those questions led me to the conclusion that we never know what those around us are suffering from, and dealing with. I don’t think it’s necessarily mental illness that always leads to these decisions. It can be immense pain that came on all at once. It can be trying to please others, it can be a shattered heart. Even for those with big personalities, magnetic smiles, and what looks to be a big world of opportunities.
I think the lesson is that we need to be sensitive to those around us. We need to check in with each other. We need to stop being too busy to care. Treat others well. Extend grace and mercy.
Look someone in the eye when you ask how they are doing. Look up from your phones when you’re having dinner together. When you ask someone how they are doing, ask more questions when they say “good, fine, or ok”. Call someone. Don’t just text them. Hear their voice. Really listen to them. Don’t hide behind words on a screen. Don’t let up if they avoid you. They might need someone to “prove” they love them, care for them, can trust them, and won’t judge them. Be willing to get messy. Life gets messy.
It’s not always as pretty as a social media post or a beautiful picture. Pain has become taboo. People don’t want to be burdened with it. But we HAVE to be willing to share in people’s grief sometimes to help lighten the load. Love others. Love them well. Be kind as often as possible. Extend grace as often as necessary. And always let people know you love them. That they matter. Don’t assume they are already hearing it. Even if they are, your voice just might be the one they needed to hear, to really believe it.
“Ms. Third Ward, your first question
What is your aspiration in life?”
“Oh, my aspiration in life would be
To be happy”
Mama said, “you’re a pretty girl”
What’s in your head, it doesn’t matter
Brush your hair, fix your teeth
What you wear is all that matters just another stage
Pageant the pain away
This time I’m gonna take the crown
Without falling down, down, down pretty hurts
We shine the light on whatever’s worst
Perfection is a disease of a nation
Pretty hurts, pretty hurts Pretty hurts
We shine the light on whatever’s worst
You’re tryna fix something
But you can’t fix what you can’t see
It’s the soul that needs a surgery blunder hair, flat chest
TV says, “bigger is better”
South Beach, sugar-free
Vogue says, “thinner is better”Just another stage
Pageant the pain away
This time I’m gonna take the crown
Without falling down, down, down
pretty hurts We shine the light on whatever’s worst
Perfection is a disease of a nation
Pretty hurts, pretty hurts (Pretty hurts)Pretty hurts (Pretty hurts)
We shine the light on whatever’s worst
You’re tryna fix something
But you can’t fix what you can’t see
It’s the soul that needs a surgery
Ain’t got no doctor, or pill that can take the pain away
The pain’s inside, and nobody frees you from your body
It’s the soul, it’s the soul that needs surgery
It’s my soul that needs surgery plastic smiles and denial can only take you so far
Then you break when the fake facade leaves you in the dark
You left with shattered mirrors and the shards of a beautiful past pretty hurts (Pretty hurts, pretty hurts)
We shine the light on whatever’s worst (Pretty hurts)
Perfection is a disease of a nation
Pretty hurts, pretty hurts (Pretty hurts)Pretty hurts (Pretty hurts)
We shine the light on whatever’s worst
You’re tryna fix something
But you can’t fix what you can’t see (Pretty hurts)
It’s the soul that needs a surgery when you’re alone all by yourself
When you’re lying in your bed
Reflection stares right into you
Are you happy with yourself?
Stripped away the masquerade
The illusion has been shed
Are you happy with yourself?
Are you happy with yourself?
Yeah, yes
Ah,
ahSource: MusixmatchSongwriters: Coleman Joshua Emanuel / Furler Sia Kate I