Verified
“My friend and my long-time (still current) client Cheslie Kryst @chesliekryst passed away today. I’m awe-struck and heartbroken. When I spoke with her a couple of days ago about a BIG upcoming story we were working on, she was happy-sounding as always. I could hear her smiling through the phone.
When I first met Cheslie, I was on the board of the Miss North Carolina pageant while she was competing. After watching her place first runner-up when I felt the crown should have been hers that night, we became fast friends. I became her supporter, and one of my happiest memories with her was right before she went to Miss USA. She came by the house to shop my closet before the competition, and it was one of my greatest honors to be blessed enough to say ‘anything in here you want is yours to take with you.’ Of the things she chose was a winter white designer suit that I never wore – still had the tags on it. She LOVED and wore that suit any chance she could – including to meet Judge Beasley and during competition week. On that same visit to the house, she told me that she changed the color of her competition gown to white. I told her the original color she chose would be best. She did not listen to me…lol! And in true Cheslie form – she stuck to her guns. I’m glad she did – because that gown on her won that night.
There are SO MANY MORE stories like this – and don’t even get me started on our trip to Miami last summer when we had laugh after laugh. That was normal. Cheslie was full of laughs and life. There was always a story. There was always food and key lime pie. And there was always love. I am so proud to have known her – to call her a friend and to be trusted by her until the very end.
Rest in peace, Cheslie. You will be missed more than you could ever imagine.”
LaToya said, “High-functioning depression is really for the overachievers, for the people who are celebrated like Cheslie was and unfortunately taking that pain and hiding it from others.”
Nate Burleson reflected on working with Cheslie, saying, “Her light was always on.” When Nate asked LaToya if she could recall any moments where she was concerned, she said, “Honestly, I can’t. There were no signs because Cheslie didn’t show signs. She purposefully concealed those because she didn’t want to burden her family and her friends.”
LaToya also weighed in on Cheslie’s Allure essay last year, in which the former Miss USA expressed her worries about turning 30 and feeling the constant pressures of chasing the next award. When asked if the essay was a sign of trouble, she said, “I think it points to the high-functioning depression, especially for people in the limelight. They crave the awards, they crave the accolades. That’s exactly what Cheslie did. I think that essay, in hindsight, speaks a little bit to the high-functioning depression.”
When asked if the family has any more insight into the tragedy, Evans said, “I think in the future they’ll reveal more about high-functioning depression and more about who Cheslie was when they are done with this stage of the grief process.”
Evans noted that the family is “so thankful for the outpouring of love and support,” even creating a website in Cheslie’s honor.
Of the website, which is “launching later today,” LaToya said, “They want to collect all of those memories that we’ve been seeing on social media that talk about how incredible Cheslie was.”
To see the tribute website, visit RememberingCheslie.com.
Nate pointed out, “That could push you to exhaustion because you’re working so much to get the admiration.”
As for how Cheslie’s family is coping with the loss, LaToya shared, “The family is full of grief. It’s a shocker, so they are still processing it.”
I hope her death saves many lives.
LaToya Evans, Cheslie Kryst’s friend, and publicist joins “CBS Mornings” to discuss their friendship and the legacy of the “Extra” correspondent and former Miss USA. This is her first interview since Kryst died by suicide last week. Each weekday morning, “CBS Mornings” co-hosts Gayle King, Tony Dokoupil and Nate Burleson bring you the latest breaking news, smart conversation, and in-depth feature reporting. “CBS Mornings” airs weekdays at 7 a.m. on CBS and 8 a.m. ET on CBSN. Subscribe to “CBS Mornings”
Please Stop Thinking My High-Functioning Depression Makes Me Lazy
It’s Monday. I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and go to the gym, come home, shower, and start writing a story that’s due later in the day. I hear my husband start to stir, so I walk upstairs to chat with him while he gets ready for the day.
In the meantime, our daughter wakes up and I hear her singing happily in the crib: “Mama!” I scoop Claire from her bed and we walk downstairs to make breakfast. We snuggle up on the couch and I breathe in the sweet smell of her hair while she eats.
By 7:30 a.m., I’ve squeezed in a workout, gotten dressed, done a bit of work, kissed my husband goodbye, and started my day with my toddler.
And then my depression sinks in.
Depression has many faces
“Depression affects all personalities and can look very different in various people,” says Jodi Aman, psychotherapist and author of “You 1, Anxiety 0: Win Your Life Back from Fear and Panic.”
“A highly functioning person can be suffering invisibly too,” she says.
According to a 2015 report by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, an estimated 6.1 million adults aged 18 or older in the United States had at least one major depressive episode in the past year. This number represented 6.7 percent of all U.S. adults. What’s more, anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the United States, affecting 40 million trusted Source adults in aged 18 and older, or 18 percent of the population.
But many mental health experts are quick to point out that, while these numbers show the commonality of depression and other conditions, the way in which people experience symptoms is varied. Depression may not always be obvious to those around you, and we need to talk about the implications of this.
“Depression may inhibit the desire for activity and action, but high functioning individuals tend to forge ahead in an effort to succeed with goals,” says Mayra Mendez, Ph.D., psychotherapist and program coordinator for intellectual and developmental disabilities and mental health services at Providence Saint John’s Child and Family Development Center in Santa Monica, California. “The drive to accomplish often sustains action and moves high-functioning individuals towards getting things done.”
This means that some people who have depression may also still maintain every day — and sometimes exceptional — tasks. Mendez points to notable figures who’ve claimed to have had depression, including Winston Churchill, Emily Dickinson, Charles M. Schultz, and Owen Wilson as prime examples.ADVERTISEMENTOnline therapy can help with depression
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No, I can’t “just get over it”
I’ve lived with depression and anxiety for most of my adult life. When people learn of my struggles, I’m often met with “I never would have guessed that about you!”
While these people often have good intentions and just might not know much about mental health disorders, what I hear in those moments is: “But what could you be depressed about?” or “What could possibly be so bad about your life?”
What people don’t realize is that battling a mental health condition is often done internally — and that those of us dealing with them spend plenty of time asking ourselves those same questions.
“A misconception of depression is that you can just snap out of it or that something happened to cause you to feel depressed,” says Kathryn Moore, Ph.D., a psychologist at Providence Saint John’s Child and Family Development Center in Santa Monica, California.
“When you are clinically depressed, you feel very sad or hopeless for no external reason. Depression can be more of low-grade chronic unhappiness with life, or it can be intense feelings of hopelessness and negative thoughts about yourself and your life,” she adds.
Mendez agrees, adding that a mistaken belief about depression is that it’s a state of mind that you can control by thinking positively. Not so, she says.
“Depression is a medical condition informed by a chemical, biological, and structural imbalance that impacts mood regulation,” Mendez explains. “There are many contributing factors to depression, and no one factor accounts for the symptoms of depression. Depression cannot be willed away by positive thoughts.”
Mendez lists other damaging misconceptions about depression, including “depression is the same thing as a sadness” and “depression will go away on its own.”
“Sadness is a typical emotion and expected in situations of loss, change, or difficult life experiences,” she says. “Depression is a condition that exists without triggers and lingers to the point of needing treatment. Depression is more than occasional sadness. Depression involves periods of hopelessness, lethargy, emptiness, helplessness, irritability, and problems focusing and concentrating.”
For me, depression often feels like I’m observing someone else’s life, almost as if I’m hovering above my body. I know I’m doing all of the things I’m “supposed to do” and often genuinely smiling at things I enjoy, but I’m left routinely feeling like an impostor. It’s similar to the feeling one might experience when one laughs for the first time after losing a loved one. The joy of a moment is there, but the punch in the gut is not far behind.
Talking about self love expert: She was trying to help others
